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Heavy critique please.

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Heavy critique please.

Postby MortiferaM » Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:37 pm

You can be harsh, I don't care. I guess I'll start with the piece I finished a couple of days ago. There's one thing I don't really like about the figure... Let's see if anyone mentions it.
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Postby xxbreezy » Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:21 am

I'm not much on this type of art but I love the colors in this!! What I see in the figure...and just my point of view...is that the right arm, the one reaching out...looks like you need to add some of her shoulder in there. You did a really good job on this but thats what I see...hope it helps
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Postby Michael Ortega » Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:22 am

A very stylized peice. I guess the one thing in the figure that sticks out to me is the "one legged look" of the female figure....I like it overall...
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Postby xxbreezy » Fri Apr 11, 2008 8:24 am

Oh and I might add that maybe you should show a little bit of her other foot to...again just my opinion!!
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Postby Erika Takacs » Fri Apr 11, 2008 12:56 pm

I like this work a lot. Her feet could be the problem you are talking about. In this pose the knees are usually drawn up (more natural and comfortable, just tried it :) ), and that should help with showing the two feet better. I think she would look better visually. Neverthless, it's beautiful as is.
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Postby MortiferaM » Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:19 pm

Erika Takacs wrote:I like this work a lot. Her feet could be the problem you are talking about. In this pose the knees are usually drawn up (more natural and comfortable, just tried it :) ), and that should help with showing the two feet better. I think she would look better visually. Neverthless, it's beautiful as is.



The one-leg/foot look is exactly what was bothering me haha. I was having a hard time making two feet without them looking like they were merged, but I think drawing the knees upward more would help a lot like you said. Thanks :)
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Postby rips10 » Fri Apr 11, 2008 11:32 pm

What does it mean? what are you trying to say--is it a suffer or relie?Anyway good work indeed.
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Postby MortiferaM » Sat Apr 12, 2008 2:42 am

rips10 wrote:What does it mean? what are you trying to say--is it a suffer or relie?Anyway good work indeed.



Well, I had this weird point in my life where I had a lot of strange dreams, all of which seemed very real, but off, and I was having a hard time figuring out what was real and what was dream, I went on for a long time thinking some things were real when they were not, and I'd mention what happened in them to the people who were also in them, and they'd just think what the hell are you talking about, only then did I realize they were just dreams.... Hope this makes sense. That's what the painting is about. The tornado-like objects are the dreams. Originally instead of crows there were supposed to be cloud-like things with images of dreams, but I thought that would look odd.
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Postby dbrod1689 » Sat Apr 12, 2008 3:45 pm

Spend more time on the arm extending toward the sky. The fingers, hand, and arm in general are off proportionally as well as form wise. The tree looks very good in that sort of stylization.

The tornados are interesting, but I think you could spend some more time there as well. They look very flat, and could maybe do well with some more rhythm and movement. You might want to consider more true greys that put them a bit more out of focus to give them a sense of motion.

I would say it, but other people have already mentioned the knees, and feet. I agree with them.

My favorite part of this piece is the repetition / similarity of the extended arm in the background. The two shadow forms; Very interesting.

What medium is this done in?
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Postby MortiferaM » Sat Apr 12, 2008 6:25 pm

Yeah they do need more movement I noticed, but they weren't really supposed to be tornadoes actually hah. I don't know what they are, but still need more movement. It's done in acrylics, on illustration board.
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A story

Postby BAReam » Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:18 pm

Hi MortiferaM; Will defer a comment for the moment.. still looking. Could you, or would you attach a short story along with this image? If you want, take a look at a painting called "Lady of the lake"... at the moment I don't recall the American painting school that produced it. For me, your work has a similar quality.

all the best... BAReam
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Postby MortiferaM » Sat Apr 12, 2008 7:45 pm

I've google searched this title, but come up with many different images! Do you know the link to the one you are talking about? I'm curious now!
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Postby BAReam » Sat Apr 12, 2008 10:34 pm

I know this image is in one of my art history texts... I'm still unpacking after a move, so will be two or three days before I can give you the artist(s)to look at... all the best... BAReam
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Postby rips10 » Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:52 am

very nice theme for a painting I mean'" strange dream".You can name that to your painting .you have used mostly gray color in the painting so it has become a sad strange---the figure you can show a little part of the other lage of the lady.Any way its a strange dream so you don't have to paint perfectly specialy the figure.Best of luck
MortiferaM wrote:
rips10 wrote:What does it mean? what are you trying to say--is it a suffer or relie?Anyway good work indeed.



Well, I had this weird point in my life where I had a lot of strange dreams, all of which seemed very real, but off, and I was having a hard time figuring out what was real and what was dream, I went on for a long time thinking some things were real when they were not, and I'd mention what happened in them to the people who were also in them, and they'd just think what the hell are you talking about, only then did I realize they were just dreams.... Hope this makes sense. That's what the painting is about. The tornado-like objects are the dreams. Originally instead of crows there were supposed to be cloud-like things with images of dreams, but I thought that would look odd.
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